Avatar the Last Airbender Study: Toxic Family Dynamics (Zuko’s Family)

Hello valued readers! Just a little spoiler alert; If you haven’t read the comics -yes, there are comics. YAY! – there are spoilers in this post. If you would like to not be spoiled and to finally find out what happened to Zuko’s mom, read The Search.

Abusive Husband: The relationship between Ozai and Ursa

• From the beginning of their marriage, Ozai was very controlling of Ursa. He wouldn’t even let her see her family after their wedding. Isolation is a classic sign of a toxic relationship. People usually Isolate their partners, family members, friends, etc. in order to control them. It’s easier to control someone when you separate them from their support system.
• Ozai used Zuko to torture Ursa. When Ursa found out that Ozai was reading her letters, she set up a trap for him. She wrote a letter to another man, saying that Zuko was his son, not Ozai’s. Although what she did wasn’t the best way to deal with the situation, what Ozai did was much worse. He confronted Ursa about the letter, letting her know that he knew she was lying, and then said he’d treat Zuko as someone else’s son if that’s what she wished. He then went on to mentally and emotionally abuse Zuko to torture Ursa.
• After Iroh’s son Lu Ten died, Ozai tries to convince their father Azulan that he -Ozai- would be a better Fire Lord since he had two potential heirs and Iroh has none. Azulan was so mad that he told Ozai that he must kill Zuko so that he can feel the pain of losing a son. Little did he know, Ozai probably wouldn’t feel any pain. Ursa would though. When she confronted Ozai about Azulan’s command, he told her that Zuko could live if she killed Azulan. The only catch is, she would have to leave the palace and never come back. He manipulated her love for Zuko to make her do his dirty work.
• In the comics when Ursa comes back to the palace, you can see that she still suffers the effects of Ozai’s abuse. She is visually uncomfortable when she sees a picture of Ozai. Although she never has to see him again, he’s in jail and his bending was taken away, the trauma of being married to him still affects her.